I'm breaking a personal rule and updating when I have nothing particularly significant to say simply because I haven't said a word here in ages. So this is purely for you, beloved flist, and also for the couple of people that lurk on my journal. You know who you are.

Sooooooo..... let us briefly discuss fanfiction, because I can't think of anything to say because I'm... uh... reading fanfiction. With the recent release of Dead Man's Chest I thought I'd dabble in a bit of PotC fanfiction again to see if the fandom grew at all while I was away. You see, I tried to read PotC fanfiction right after the first movie came out but it was all Jack/Will which baffles me and then Will/Elizabeth which is all nice and canon but SNOOORE, and Jack/Elizabeth which just makes me oddly enraged. So anyway, what I'm TRYING to tell you if you'd just listen for a few seconds is that Jack/Norrington is THE PotC pairing of choice. Why is Norrington so hooottttt? :(((( I should see if that actor guy is in any other movies of interest. 

But don't worry, Jake Gyllenhaal. You shall always be first in my heart. <3


::foams at the mouth::

It's really not an authentic post by me if I don't mention Jake Gyllenhaal or blackberry cobbler. And now I've both so you can be sure you're getting THA FO WEAL DEAL.  ...

Anyway, I drove around getting applications from restaurants yesterday because I HATTEEE WALLMAAARTTT. And no, it's not even the customers. It's the godforsaken hours and the they-don't-pay-me-enough-for-this. I feel that as I waitress I will be using my skills as a hot girl and not simply letting them rot, tipless, at a register.

There will be some things I shall miss, of course. It's a very unique experience working somewhere where your grandmother is FAMOUS. For seriously.  At the end of every interaction with my coworkers it seems they end it by going "And tell Miss Betty I said hi!!" I am living in her shadow. :(((( Oh lord, and Miss Betty HERSELF came in today and found me at my register. Somehow it just happens that she knows everyone in my line, either that or she was just chatting up complete strangers. But she points at me and announces to everyone "My granddaughter! And I am soooo prrrrouudd!" Shucks, Grandma. <3

Oh, and of course, my workbuddies. It just so happens that my very favorite person there is named SHANNON! Ha! She drew something or other on her nametag to help people tell us you part. You see, she is very tall and has really short red hair and is kind of plump, so you see we look JUST ALIKE. The CSMs always make the fatal mistake of putting us right next to each other and thus they cannot tear me away from her area long enough to actually get any work done. Even if I do leave I will still go to Wal-Mart ALL THE TIME to visit because she's just that cool. She gave me an air freshner for my car. :DDDD I was actually trying to by one and I went through her lane and she looks down and says "You know, I got a two-pack of this exact same thing and never use one of them, so I'll just save you some money. ::tosses air freshner aside::" Then we had a short moment to go Omgggg we're both named Shannon and WE BOTH BUY AIR FREHNERS! SPOOOKYYYYY.

I have a day off tomorrow so I owe it to myself to work on some damn art. I have an entire drawing completely linearted that I've been meaning to CG, and I always think up ridiculous comics at work(generally based on myself because my ego is just that huge.) I doubt anything will happen, though, because what little time off work gives me is instantly snapped up by my social life. I'm not complaining at all, anyone will tell you I love my friends to death, but I'll continue to have this vague guilty feeling about not trying to work on the stuff I really love. 

Okay so I DO BELIEVE I have filled my quote of Shannon-burble for now so I'ma cut myself off and do something fun before this turns into an auto-biography.


Oh, and this is just for Bonnie.

DOOCE GOT FUCKIN' CANCER. 


Edit: Oh and I just noticed I used the phrase "chatting up" in reference to my grandmother earlier on, which I believe sort of means "flirting" in British-type speak. So just for the English here on my flist, which I believe is a whopping ONE of you, no, my Grandma was NOT hitting on a bunch of people in Wal-Mart. This episode of Lost in Translation is brought to you by THE LETTER ZED?!

So I can't sleep and I remembered a ridiculous moment at work that I would like to share with you. 

You know those little motorized carts they have at some grocery stores for people who have trouble walking? With the little basket in front? That go 0.23464 miles per hour? Okay, well I was working the express lane and one of my coworkers motors up to me on one and is like "Heyyy, could you take this to the other side of the store for me?" and being the nice gal I am, I agreed. I instinctively grab the handle bars intending to push the thing across the store but it doesn't budge and she's like "Hahaha, nope. You gotta ride it there." 

So I sit down and she shows me how to push the yellow thingies to make it go and I am FLYING through the store at a snail's pace. Seriously those things could not be any slower. There I am puttering along the registers past EVERY cashier that I have come to know, slowly creeping my way up to the CSM podium. I'm trying desperately to find some way to ride that damn cart in a cool fashion but believe me, that wasn't happening. So all three CSM girls look at me as I inch toward them and start giggling, holding their thumbs out like they're trying to catch a ride. "Sorry, no hitchhikers," I said with as much dignity as I could muster while steering my tiny cart to avoid smashing into a stray buggy.

I finally parked the infernal contraption on the other side of the store and jumped up immediately as if to say "YEP. FULL USE OF MY LEGS. Had to ride it, you know. Company business. I doubt you'd understand."

Ahh Wal-Mart. You can take away the hours of my life and you can take my pride, but you can't... uhm... I got nothin'.

I saw my bitches darth_rosenberg and cmiko at tha fahrworks. That's fireworks for all you YANKEES. Wow, I missed them. I'm totally getting all up on the schedule thing, dearies. We are soooo having some summer fun and smore-ing it up. <3

As for today, worst day of work ever. I totally meant to just TALK to my boss about my crazy schedule but as soon as he was there in front of me I opened my mouth to say something and started bawling. I was babied afterward, but just a bit. Anyway, I filled out a new availability sheet and everything should run smoothly now. How embarrassing, though. Geez.

I have the ick. I woke up feeling like a horrible monster had been scratching around in my throat while I was sleeping, and I kept feeling like I was gonna fall over all day today. It feels like fever is radiating out of my eyeballs.

Oh and I'm pretty sure I got pick-pocketed at le firework show. :( Damn hooligans. Bye bye gas monies.

But Snowdrop and Bean gave me kisses just now and I'm feelin' fine.

P.S. I've been giving Alec driving lessons and he has improved like 500%. I am so proouudddddd.

Only the COOLEST people do fanart of fanartists. 

I GOT A JOB, BITCHHESSSSS. I'm a happy girl.

But it wasn't easy, of course! That's just the kind of life I lead. :D It's my own fault for being so irresponsible. I applied at Wal-Mart even though I was TOTALLY UNPREPARED FOR A JOB INTERVIEW. No driver's license or photo ID of any kind, lost my birth certificate, lost my social security card.. x) God, I'm a flake.

Well I didn't expect them (and by them I mean WAL-MART)to call me back the very next morning. I'm way too used to jobs never ever calling you instead. Thank you, Wal-Mart, for treating me like a human being and not like a dog begging at the door. Well, anyway, the woman on the phone was very nice and asked me to come in for an interview on Tuesday(today) and if I had photo ID. Out of nervousness I choked and said yes, figuring that I'd just hammer out those details later. Hung up the phone. Sat there for a minute. Photo ID. I need a photo ID. FUCKKKKK.

So I went into whirlwind mode and descended upon my family in a frothing rage, cries of "PHOTO ID!" barely distinguishable amidst roars of gibberish, thinking I'd have to take the driver's test in order to get a job which would be a teeny bit difficult seeing as WE HAVE NO CAR. I try to call the DMV and see if they can give out just plain old photo IDs that aren't licenses but turns out they are closed on mondays. JOY! 

Things were looking grim. Time to call for reinforcements. Grandma to the rescue. :D! I called her and told her all about my dilemma and my total inability to prove that I am actually myself. She rushed right over and said we'd start off by getting a new copy of my birth certificate, and we'd drive by the DMV to check out their hours. Went to the DMV and figured out they opened 3 hours before my job interview the next day. I figured that was manageable, if not slightly pushing it. Went to get my birth certificate after that. Turns out you need two forms of identification to get THAT, too! Good freaking god, America. I PROMISE THAT I AM IN FACT SHANNON STOP MAKING ME HAVE TO PROVE IT. I only had one form of ID on me but I gave them such an intense puppy face they bent the rules for me and gave me a copy anyway. 7 whole bucks for that! x)

That was pretty much it for Monday. I went home and was so tired I ended up falling asleep around 8pm, which was lucky for me since I had to get up at 7am the next day anyway. Called the DMV and to my joy the woman was barely audible over their shoddy phoneline. She says I need two forms of identification, which I expected by then, but then she dropped a new bomb on me. "Please bring two forms with your name and current address on them." What?! Like, mail?! Would mail count?! I decided mail couldn't possibly count, and decided to go more official with tax return forms. Grandma drove me over there and the woman looks at my stuff and drops a brand new bomb. "Oh, they need to be dated within the last 30 days."  "uhfisughryighusyghur," I replied. So we went all the way back home and dug up the most recent bills and drove BACK to the DMV and I had to fill out boring paper work and blahblah got my Photo ID.

That was the worst of it. Everything after was smooth sailing. I went in to the interview, but not before MeeMaw(yes that's what I call her shut up)introduced me to EVERY LITTLE OLD LADY IN THE ENTIRE STORE. xDD The two people that were supposed to be interviewing me didn't really ask me any questions. They just dumped a mountain of paperwork in front of me and grinned at each other, calling other coworkers over going "It's Betty's Granddaughter!" "Well ain't that somethin'!" "Oh, I know Betty!" and then they'd beam at me all fondly.

So I'm hired as a cashier and I start at 6.65 an hour, and you're supposed to get a raise after the first three months. That's not too bad, I think. It's a decent amount above minimum wage, anyway. All I had to do after that was go pee in a cup! WHEEE! :D I already had to pee super bad during the interview so I figured I'd just hold it until my drug test at 1:00. Haha and they needed photo I.D. too. x) 

So, yes. Yes, indeed. I am a Wal-Mart Associate.



Edit: I forgot to mention that I was signing the date "666" on all that paperwork. It seemed somehow fitting.