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Sometimes real life is just far, far better than satire could ever hope to be as proven by this article explaining just why we need a Christian alternative to yoga.
Patronizing You (6:23:34 PM) : For the next 22 years I was heavily involved with yoga, metaphysics and the New Age movement until I came to the end of myself and surrendered my life to Jesus Christ in 1987.
I call yoga “the missionary arm of Hinduism and the New Age movement.” We don’t often think of other religions having missionaries, but the philosophy and practice of yoga have been primary tools of Hindu “missionaries” to America since “Indian priest and mystic” Swami Vivekananda introduced yoga to the West at the 1893 World’s Fair in Chicago.
I call yoga “the missionary arm of Hinduism and the New Age movement.” We don’t often think of other religions having missionaries, but the philosophy and practice of yoga have been primary tools of Hindu “missionaries” to America since “Indian priest and mystic” Swami Vivekananda introduced yoga to the West at the 1893 World’s Fair in Chicago.
LCSarBlack (6:24:17 PM) : ROFLLLLL
Patronizing You (6:25:45 PM) : Perhaps you have sensed uneasiness while doing yoga (what some call a “check in your spirit”), but you ignored that quiet nudge. I urge you to pay attention to it. Jesus Himself said, “…the sheep follow Him, for they know His voice” (John 10:4).
Patronizing You (6:25:52 PM) : omgomgomgomg
Patronizing You (6:26:19 PM) : Woman: *Pauses while twisted into a pretzel* ...I have the strangest feeling I just damned my soul.
LCSarBlack (6:26:39 PM) : FJDKSLJFLDKSJLFSD
LCSarBlack (6:27:29 PM) : woman: *does a bridge and pauses* I think I felt my soul break into a million pieces. Oh wait, no. That was just my hamstring being pulled
LCSarBlack (6:27:37 PM) : same difference, really
Patronizing You (6:27:37 PM) : XDDDDDDDDDDD
Patronizing You (6:30:09 PM) : Did you know that yoga postures are offerings to the 330 million Hindu gods?
Patronizing You (6:30:20 PM) : OH LORD BOLD RED TEXT
LCSarBlack (6:30:21 PM) : XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Patronizing You (6:30:29 PM) : I AM SUFFICIENTLY SCARED ENOUGH TO BUY YOUR BOOK
LCSarBlack (6:30:30 PM) : you wanna know something REALLY FUNNY
Patronizing You (6:30:36 PM) : What XDDDDDD
LCSarBlack (6:31:05 PM) : Outside of Judaism and Islam, Hinduism is the religion most like Christianity. In some ways, it's more like Christianity than the other two
LCSarBlack (6:31:25 PM) : And I say that because all of those "330 million gods" or whatever are all just different personality aspects of ONE GOD
LCSarBlack (6:31:34 PM) : they're not actually separate gods
LCSarBlack (6:32:15 PM) : And then there are the three major aspects of the one god: Kali (the destroyer), Vishnu (life and the present), and someone else who I can't remember who was the beginning XD
LCSarBlack (6:32:34 PM) : but those three are all one with the one major God whose name I can't remember either XDDD
Patronizing You (6:32:45 PM) : SARAH, THIS THINKING LEADS YOU AWAY FROM THE BABY JESUS
LCSarBlack (6:32:50 PM) : XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
LCSarBlack (6:33:02 PM) : I'd never thought about it until our PREACHER LIT TEACHER pointed it out to us xD
LCSarBlack (6:33:12 PM) : PREACHER TEACHER XD
LCSarBlack (6:33:15 PM) : IT RHYMES
Patronizing You (6:33:15 PM) : XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
LCSarBlack (6:33:35 PM) : but yeah I thought that was interesting.
LCSarBlack (6:33:47 PM) : so it's not like these people even understand what they're arguing against XD
Patronizing You (6:33:51 PM) : Satan is always interesting, Sarah
Patronizing You (6:33:56 PM) : Just remember that
LCSarBlack (6:33:56 PM) : JGKSLRJFLDSJLFe
Edited to add perhaps the best line in the whole article:
But Yoga is NOT Meat!
Edited to add perhaps the best line in the whole article:
But Yoga is NOT Meat!
- Mood:
amused - Music:The Beatles - Hey Jude
Comments
IMPOSTER
WHAT
IF
YOU'RE
A
VEGETARIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!